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Being Single Minded and Happy - debunking the myth of the lonely single woman.

Women being able to own property, women getting the vote, women becoming more educated, women having financial independence and women running countries is now culminating into a new disturbing trend for some– women being happy single.

Oh my God will it never end?

I sure hope not, cuz ladies apparently, we’re on a roll.

And the statistics rolling out bear witness.

What can it possibly mean?

In a New York Times article from January 16, 2007, Sam Roberts reported;

“For what experts say is probably the first time, more American women are living without a husband than with one, according to a New York Times analysis of census results.

In 2005, 51 % of women said they were living without a spouse, up from 35 % in 1950 and 49% in 2000. Coupled with the fact that in 2005 married couples became a minority of all American households for the first time, the trend could ultimately shape social and work place policies, including the ways government and employers distribute benefits”.

Let’s all of us single women stay tuned for these results – like revisions to the tax code that will eliminate current penalties exacted against single tax payers. Being single shouldn’t mean you pay more to the IRS.

Jillian Straus, Psychology Today Magazine May/June 2006, in her article “Lone Stars: Being Single” references research psychologist Bella DePaulo, a single woman, and her decision to put aside her established professional career to write a book on singles. Bella DePaulo aid she could never have considered leaving her secure position as a tenured professional and writing her book if she were part of a couple.

Jullian Straus interpreted Bella’s statement as follows;
“DePaulo’s own path exemplifies a seismic shift in the place of singles in American culture – in the lives they lead, in the way others see them and more profoundly, in the way they see themselves. Not only are singles the fastest-growing population group in the country, most of us will spend more of our adult lives as single than married. That hard demographic fact is rapidly turning singlehood into a satisfying destination rather than an anxiety-ridden way station, a sign of independence rather than a mark of shame, an opportunity to develop a variety of relationships rather than a demand to stuff all one’s emotional eggs into one basket.

“Single hood is no longer a state to be overcome as soon as possible. It has its own rewards. Marriage is not the gateway to adulthood anymore. For most people it’s the dessert – desirable, but no longer the main course – neither the coupled nor uncoupled life is an automatic ticket to bliss’ ” quote by social historian Stephanie Coontz

The New York Times article brought about some fairly vitriolic response on both sides of the argument. Some opposing journalists tried to dispute the results by pointing out that the New York Time stats included 10 million females under the age of 18 etc, etc. Maybe it did. So really who cares? The trend is clear, no matter whose calculator is used. More women are single, some by choice others by circumstance.

Surprising as this may seem, many single women are happy. According to recent research, as each year goes by, more and more women are choosing to marry later or not at all. This trend has some cultural observers concerned.

Cathy Young, Contributing Editor, Boston Globe

“Is this merely a fact of life or a manifestation of cultural decline – a “titanic loss of family values”, as the title of a column in The Washington Times put it?….

The single woman has become a focus of concern.”

Apparently, if women want to be truly scary we don’t need to carry a gun, or earn a black belt in martial arts, all we need to do is tell pollsters we are happy being single.

How shocking!

Are single women throwing America a “cultural curve ball”?

Are single women, as some would have it, the instigators of a cultural decline in family values?

Are women upsetting the marital apple cart?

If we are, I don’t believe it has been intentional.

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

In the sixties young women burned their bras in protest and demonstrated en mass. Today we don’t see wives demonstrating en mass or throwing their wedding rings onto the flames of a social pier,

instead we see escalating divorce statistics and declining marriage statistics. Our public bean counters guage a growing disinterest in the status quo – a desire by some not to partake in the choices of yesteryear

What we are hearing from women in America is, “I don’t need to settle. I choose not to settle. Being single is OK. My marriage status will not define me. My worth is not a wedding band. I will be my own security. I will be happy with my choices.“

Well if this is the case, what will become of the American “Ozzie and Harriet” world of past generations??

What will happen to American society if even more women decide to stay single, decide not to have children or refuse to be a participant in a marriage where they are the sole caretakers of the children, the home, their husband and their aging parents?

Look out ESPN, American males may soon find themselves too busy to stay tuned.

Read Part II “Point Counter Point to Being Single Minded and Happy”

Read Part III “The Single Minded Woman- So How Do You Really Feel?”

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 5th, 2008 at 3:27 am and is filed under Single Minded Woman. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.