Shabby Chic

Yes it’s been too long since we have talked! No, I wasn’t on some exotic vacation trolling white sandy beaches searching for something worth picking up. Instead I was stuck in 2007, unable to move on to the new year until I did my homework – I had to close out my company books and send them off to my friendly bean counter. This annual ritual gives him the opportunity to take the “happy” out of “Happy New Year” for me by crunching all my tax numbers while simultaneously dispelling any illusions I may have had about a prosperous new year.

Once my work was done, covered in paper cuts, I clicked my ruby mouse twice and like magic found myself in the land of 2008.

And what did I find ?

I woke up, sat down with my cup of hot coffee, looked around my comfortable little nest as I do every day and felt a new feeling. Had no idea what it was to begin with. Then it came to me. It was boredom! I was actually, profoundly bored.

I don’t expect to rock your world with this announcement but it rocked mine, because, you see, for the past year I have been perfectly content being a shut-in covered in Persian cats.

My God, it took me an entire year to get bored with having no life!

Now that’s what I call staying power or more accurately, staying in power.

So with the fervor of the recently converted I put my plan together.
I would get social – whatever that means.
I would change my hair.
I would get happy with my body.
I would walk out my front door on a more regular basis.

How have I done so far?
2 lunches with friends
1 dinner
2 movies in a real theater
1 haircut with new color and streaks
I theater night – Menopause the Musical
All of the above involved walking out my front door.

Results:
I realized that my front door needed a new locking mechanism.

I discovered that for the longest time my very own 86 year old mother has thought my hair cut/color was boring. I gotta tell you when an 86 year old woman tells you this you gotta pay attention!

Not wanting to go too far over the top I decided to back away from the possibility pictured below. Although I recognized that the face jewelry would be effective in camouflaging my wrinkles, my heightened aversion to pain won out. However, if any of you could Photoshop my face onto this picture I would love to send it to my mother. She’s been asking for a photo of my new “do”. That rendition would certainly get her attention.

Everyone, including my hair dresser found it necessary to tell me that changing my hair color would not change my life. I must have forgotten to have the word “stupid” surgically removed from my forehead before visiting with them.

Upon hearing of my new plan, my girlfriends immediately offered to help me find a man. Apparently all I need to change my life is a boy toy. Never once did they offer to give me batteries for my birthday. Perhaps they assumed I was already well stocked.

I watched the premier of “How to Look Good Naked” – more about that later.

I am researching the purchase of a new bathroom scale – one that measures all that body mass stuff. I am also looking for a doctor wise enough to prescribe Valium to help me deal with what the scale has to say. If you can recommend a good scale (or a sympathetic doctor) I would appreciate hearing from you.

I am working up to using my reclining bicycle as an exercise machine rather than a piece of furniture – one baby step at a time.

So there you have it.

How about we all work together on making this year new?
I don’t know about you but I could sure use the support.

Til the next time.

Shabby Chic

Where women are free to be themselves, together.