Final Stretch
It has been hard to write lately. Ok, that is not entirely accurate. I have not really had any interest in writing because I don’t really have anything interesting to say.
I am in the final stretch of school. No I don’t mean finals. I take one class every 6 weeks, though we do have semesters and summer breaks. This semester I have taken 2 classes and am finishing my third. I have one more week before finals, though I have already had 2 finals early this semester. I am in the final stretch before summer break.
Even though I am not cramming for finals like traditional students, I am feeling that itch of dissatisfaction and a desire to have a life beyond a book. I appreciate this class as the last class of the semester because it is not as horrendously brutal as my other 2 classes. I guess out of 3 classes, they need one that didn’t make me want to kill myself or someone else. I say that metaphorically of course. Though I have built up a supply of poppits in rough effigy of my professors.
I am working hard at school, though it feels as though I am more of a sprinter rather than a cross country runner. I push hard for a while and then collapse while waiting for the next yard to sprint. This is getting worse as the class comes to a close. I am complacent in my responsibility. I don’t accept it begrudgingly. I accept is flatly. I have to do this so I will. But the enthusiasm was lost in the fall.
To say it has been a hard first year at school is to put it mildly. There were many things that happened that I could not have accounted for. There were some choices that I made, that had I known now blah blah blah…I would have made differently. I accept that. I was frustrated. Now I accept that in the 5 stages of mourning kind of way. I am not depressed about it. It is what it is. It is time to take my own advice, if you can’t change it accept it. Well, acceptance doesn’t have to be joyous. I am hoping next year will be better. I know it will. And, this year is almost done. I have one more week of class and then finals and then a vacation which I need more than a nun needs a good lay.
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