The Remodeled Blog

I AM a quitter!

There comes a time in a woman’s life when her body starts to change. For me this time has been after I quit smoking. I am officially 2 weeks into being a [tag]non-smoker[/tag]. I don’t think non-smokers can appreciate what it is to be a non-smoker. So all of you must run out, teach yourself how to smoke, develop a habit, then develop an addiction, quit smoking, start again, quit smoking, secretly smoke, talk about quitting, get pressured by all your friends, quit again, convince yourself you are happier smoking, quit again and quit for good. Now how do you feel?

Well I will tell you, you feel pretty damn good. They say that the heavier a smoker you are, the more noticeable the changes are. I was not a heavy [tag]smoker[/tag], so the differences have been small, but I am starting to notice them.

Lets start with the have nots, I have not or do not…

gained weight (the holidays took care of that on their own)

smell things better

taste things better

gone insane

become depressed

bitten all my nails to bloody stumps due to an unsatisfied oral fixation

bitten the head off of any person near me

breath in smoke because I can be a second hand smoker, and it is better than nothing

feel the need to smoke

given into cravings

started to sleep better

focused attention

feel the need to make everyone into a non-smoker

need to clear my throat all the time

cough as much

get winded as fast

wake up with as much phlegm

heat palpitations

light headedness or dizzyness

Ok, so that is what I have not or do not do. So what has happened?

I have or do…

quit smoking

saved money

smell better (in I no longer smell like a stinky cigarette)

not stand outside in the cold because I need a fix

I stand outside in the cold with my friend while she gets her fix

talk about quitting smoking

think it is easier to quit than we believe it is

better looking skin (my skin is starting to look healthier! and more radiant!)

better breath (both breathing in and breathing on)

pride in gaining my freedom

increased sex drive

So that is what I have gained and lost and done and not done and have and don’t have. But now that I am 2 weeks into quitting my body has really started to heal itself.

What my body is doing:

often waking up with sore and scratchy throat

feeling like I smoked a pack of [tag]cigarettes[/tag] the night before

coughing up phlegm

feeling pains in my lungs and then a need to cough

clearing up my complexion

less headaches

relaxed neck muscles

more energy

increase sex drive

So even though I was a light smoker, I am noticing some big changes. They all seem insignificant when they are happening, but when you add them all up, it becomes pretty significant. It seems like every day or so, another thing gets added to this list.

I won’t deny that some part of me misses smoking. But it is not the cigarette I miss, or the taste or the feeling, or smell or cost. Honestly it is the ritual, or the idea of the ritual. But I don’t miss it enough to start again. Missing it a little does not outweigh the list I just wrote. Quitting smoking is a difficult battle, but one worth fighting. Pretty soon I will look like I am 16, have all the energy of a teenager, the attention span of a college student and the lung capacity of a track runner! Woo! or I will just be a slightly better me with a lot more money in my pocket.

Dry socket has nothing to do with electricity

As you know, I had a tooth removed last week. Well by three days after the procedure, the main in my mouth had gone from 0 back up to 100. I thought I was going to have to pull out all my teeth! Actually I had to hide the pliers to keep from becoming a DIY [tag]dentist[/tag]. But thanks to lots of painkillers, I could make it tolerable…again. So Monday I bring my cranky and sore mouth back to the dentist. Yeah, I have [tag]dry socket[/tag]. Because I do not do well being uninformed, this announcement was more of a confirmation than a revelation. Since I decided that pulling out all my teeth probably wasn’t the best plan, I spent the weekend researching and diagnosing my pain. So I did become a DIY dentist, or at least diagnostician.

If you don’t know what dry socket is, it is when you have had a tooth extracted and the blood clot either doesn’t set properly. This can happen from the blood not [tag]clotting[/tag] properly or fully; the clot can be pulled away through too vigorous swishing, smoking, straw sucking, candy sucking…ok, sucking. In my research I did find some interesting academic discussion of dry socket. Apparently if you are on the birth control pill you have a much higher chance of getting dry socket. I also found some discussion on whether or not sucking actually will remove a clot. It seems that there are two lines of thought on this one. Some say yes, others say no. But there does not seem to be any clear cut evidence that you can suck our your own clot. Regardless though, sucking is a good thing to avoid after an [tag]extraction[/tag].

To treat dry socket, the dentist packs your mouth with gauze strips soaked in clove oil. The oil acts as an analgesic as well as an antiseptic. After poking and prodding and digging out the socket (which was less than pleasant) and flooding the area with Lidocaine, after the area stopped feeling weird, I was flooded with sweet relief! Ah, for the first night in 10 days, I was not in pain. I actually didn’t want to go to bed because I was so excited to not hurt!

Since, I have had it repacked once and the packing has come out. The socket is a bit painful again, but nothing some pain killers can’t manage. I just have to accept that healing can hurt, but at least it is healing…and I still have the rest of my teeth.

Reasons not to be skinny in the winter

On every magazine, in every morning tv show and every self help book, we see tips for losing weight in the winter. All the talks about how we gain those few holiday pounds and what we can do to not only not gain that weight but lose it. Well, speaking from the perspective of a recovered anorexic, a IBS sufferer, and someone who generally likes to keep fit, don’t lose weight in the winter! Fatten up! Eat that extra helping of mashed potatoes and pie! Let that small layer of fat cover your body during the long cold winter months. It is there for a reason!

It is hard not to give into the patriarchal , societally supported, media emphasized, feminine marginalizing concepts of beauty. We are programed to believe that smaller is better, well, at least when it comes to a woman’s dress size. I agree with being fit. I agree that we should be healthy and that most of America has become skinny visualized and fat actualized.

Well I am a skinny person who is revolting! Put on the weight! Add those few extra pounds. Your body will naturally shed them in the spring. It is what we do. When we remove the products of industrialization, take away the veil of civilization, we are a part of the animal kingdom. We need our fat!

This has become a visceral realization for me over the past few days. After having my tooth extracted on Tuesday, I realized that  I have lost a couple of pounds.  Most  people might think that this would not make a big difference on the landscape of one’s body. But trust me when I tell you it can.  Because now I am FREEZING!!!  I am wearing a wool sweater, a Carhart subartic jacket, gloves, scarf, subartic socks…and I am still cold.  Last week I wasn’t.

So  those few pounds I thought I wanted to lose, I now want back.  So I am reclaiming my fat for the winter.  Time to plump up!  Enjoy those meal!  Because those of us who do, won’t be freezy cold like those who are preparing for their bikini body when it is 20 degrees and snowing!

Mouth Remodeling: Tooth Extraction

Thursday last, I was innocently trying to work on this blog and my school work when a slight throbbing emerged from my mouth. I thought nothing of it. But as the night wore on, the throbbing increased its attention crying throb. I took Advil. I took Tylenol. I took them both in copious amounts. But the temper tantrum being thrown in my mouth would not cease. I couldn’t even tell you which one it was. It was like when you look at a bunch of kids, and you know one of them did “IT.” But when you look at them, they all stare back at you innocently. Those were the teeth in my mouth.

The pain came as a throb, then as a stab, then an ache and then every combination there-of. It came from the left, the right, the top the bottom. Worst of all, it came all night. By the wee hours of the morning, or an hour before my alarm was to sound, I finally fell asleep.

Hoping that this was an isolated act of revenge for years of braces and the 4 1/2 hours of dental work I suffered through last May, I convinced myself that the pain that was rendering me intolerable to be around was only temporary.

This was not to the case. Friday I was given pain killer 1…or the joke prescription. I was given Darvocette. Yeah, it did nothing. Then I was given Tramodol. This was better…for the first day. By Sunday I was taking it every 4 hours and chasing it with a handful of advil…and I was still amazingly unpleasant to be around. Hmmm…all those drugs and I was still in pain and still a bit testy.

By monday morning, the offending tooth had revealed itself. So I quickly called the oral surgeon to schedule its immediate removal.

Tuesday morning, I go to the dr’s office, they drug me with general anesthetic and nitrous-oxide, and I remember no more. Until I wake up and have no tooth.

The relief was immediate! So while I have been frantically tearing holes in my house, it was apparently time to tear holes in me.

Here is the pic of where my tooth use to be, Farewell Tooth